The inner critic still rules ✍️
Last week, I wrote that I was free from my inner critic. That I'm able to write about whatever comes to mind. And it's true, when I think of something, I make a note of it, and will write about it afterwards.
However, the inner critic is still alive and kicking. And this became clear when I read Grace For Everyone But Me by Nerd Girl Thoughts, as a reply to The Standards We Heap Upon Ourselves by Naithin.
Both talk about their inner critic when it comes to blogging, or anything in life.
There is a double standard at play there. But this time, one against rather than for myself.
When other people post short posts — it’s fine. Maybe even great. Particularly if you can tell it’s short simply because that’s all they wanted to say on the matter.
When I make short posts — it feels… low effort. Cheating, almost.
And this feeling is all too familiar.
With every post I publish, I somehow feel it should be meaningful. It should be long enough.
I feel like I have a responsibility towards my audience. Because if not, people will see I'm not a real writer, or a real blogger. As I wrote in Share your ordinary adventures and weeknotes ✍️, I love to read about all the small things everyone else is doing, yet I find it very hard for myself to post something like that.
The same goes for my photography.
I can marvel at the photo of an ordinary box and think of how nice it looks. Or its framing.
However, that photo would have been taken by someone else. I would not shoot an ordinary box, nor publish it online.
And the same for the looks of my shots. I like how others use recipes, but if I shoot in the same way, it's too blue, or too orange. Or too plain or too saturated.
Silly, I know when writing this, but perfectionism and imposter syndrome still thrive in me.
I know I'm not an imposter, and I know that everything I do, doesn't need to be perfect.
But somehow this always comes back when I do something.
I still have 10 days to go in this blaugust challenge. Maybe I can use these as a way to experiment. To push myself to publish shorter and simpler posts. To free myself.
And in a similar way, I'm thinking of doing an experiment with daily photography and lowering my expectations towards the end result.
I haven't cracked the code yet, but I'll keep trying.
If you have similar feelings are have found a way to deal with them, let me know. I'd like to hear about it.
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